help on the homefront

[Carolyn]

Ok, I've never really seen a topic like the one I'm going to describe now.  Maybe those who have been in Spain for a while can help me out.

I want to live in Spain, go to school, teach English.  However, my parents think that I am being totally irresponsible and not willing to face the reality that am an \"adult\" now.  I graduate from college in May and I want to attend graduate school in Madrid.  I also have a boyfriend there that I've been in a long distance relationship with since I studied there last year.  I want to see what the next step is.  

However, my parents just don't buy it.  I don't know how to make them understand that I love Spain, not just the boyfriend, and that I'd like to make a life there for a while, before I get to old to enjoy anything.  I knew I wanted to live in Spain since the first week that I was actually there, which was three whole months before I met the boyfriend.

So I guess that I'm just asking advice on how to handle this from the \"pros\" who have been living in Spain for a while.  How did you handle your family?  Could you convince them of your burning desire to live in Spain?

Please help.
Carolyn

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[silo]

I didn´t have the problem of my family thinking I am irresponsible for wanting to come here, but they didn´t grab the idea of why I was leaving the US to go to a different country when the US has everything you could want. I was leaving to go to a different lifestyle, lower salaries, foreign languages, etc. I can tell you that it is a challenge, an opportunity to be closer to places I have never seen before, and the biggest part is that I am having experiences that money cannot buy.

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[desertyeti]

Howzit,

I guess the most inportant thing to do is to approach the whole thing with your parents like an adult, no foot stamping and tantrums.

They will have worries and concerns and so you must counter that with good research and answers to their questions. If you can show them that you can make a go of it in spain because you are an adult and have thought it through carefully then it will be harder for them to say no.

What you must come up with however is a scenario for what happens if it doesn't work out with your boyfriend. Can you live in a foriegn country alone, can you even afford to! This is what your parents will be wondering.

In order to show your serious save money, take a part time job if you have to to show your serious about making it on your own. Also if you don't speak spanish start taking lessons.

Research living costs in Spain (and i dont mean living off your boyfriend!) flights, food, emergencies, also tuition fees and money to get by on when looking for work. Also research job oportunities and present all this info to your parents to show them that this is a sensible reasoned decision your making.

This is how you convince them of your burning desire.

But be sure yourself, before trying to convince others. It can be tough out there.

Hope this helps.

Desertyeti

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[Carolyn]

I just want to say thanks to all those who have replied.  I really appreciate it.

I realized that I may have exaggerated things a little bit on my first post.  I was emotionally charged when I wrote it and had just come off of a discussion with my parents about the whole Spain thing.  It didn't go well and that was reflected in my post.  But things are getting better with them.  I think that part of the problem is that I have always lived with my parents (all through college, except when I studied in Spain) and they have some empty nest issues while I have \"wild streak of independence\" issues.  

I have been doing exhaustive research...and I was accepted to study for a Master's Degree at NYU in Madrid.  Right now I'm trying to figure out how to pay for it and I'm saving to take a TEFL certification course.  I just wish some miracle could happen and I win the lottery or something!  

Its comforting to know that other people have done what I want to do and have been successful at it.  Just knowing that it is possible to be successful helps me a lot.  Thanks again everyone!!!

Carolyn

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[El Manco]

Carolyn,

I am very glad I read your post, because I too just got accepted to NYU in Madrid, and am very glad someone else is trying to figure out how to pay for it.

My parents too are skeptical of this....my dad's your typical dad muttering about money. Both my parents were cool about last summer's study there-especially my Cuban mom and the rest of my cuban family-but regarding my grander plans and dreams for life, they don't seem to take that stuff too seriously. I graduated in December, stayed 2 more months in orlando hoping my fall internship would materialize into a job as promised, then moved back in w/ them, realizing I couldn't waste anymore time and money up there if i was gonna make it to Madrid. But the 'rents talk about me getting my own apartment and expanding my job search out of state, as if all my grad school application crap over christmas was for cacas&giggles. I know i may not have a great track record of getting up off my ass  , but me and them are really not on the same page.

From reading what you've said, i think you might be able to relate to what I've just said. Soooooooooooooo i suggest we trade emails - mine's Caveman227@aol.com - since we're both trying to get to the same place via the same academic excuse, we won't be in the dark so much about it. Like here's what I'm wondering: can we apply for a fulbright for this? and how much is the TEFL? i'd liek to have that under my belt, but w/ nyu i've already got so much to pay for.

anyways, hope to hear from you

Eric

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