The Decision Has Been Made!

[mlwalton]

Hi All,

So I've been a member since, er, eh, I think 2002 and while I did make it to Barcelona in the fall of 2003 and lived there until December of the same year, studied Spanish at don quijote school (which I highly recommend)....I have been dithering about my exit date (yes - I'm state-side at the moment living in SoFla) and how much money I was going to need....whether or not I was going to try to change jobs first....move etc....

I've decided!  And might I say it is quite final, I'm going to stick it out at my current job until March 2009.

2009??!?!! You might gasp - but yes and with good reason....let me explain....

(incidentally before I begin let me say the reason I'm sharing all this with all of you, is in case there is anyone out there also sitting on the same fence I've just climbed off from)

First my age - believe it or not it does matter, is 35, second, my marital status is: non-existant as I don't have one, a marital status that is, because I'm single, never been married; relationship status - well I don't have or rather am not in one of those either....children: NONE (I have a great deal of appreciation for being my age without the encumberances of children - NOTE TO PARENTS:  You are far nobler than I and I truly applaud you - children and/or having them, just ain't my thang)  Pets:  although I desperately want a black boy Pug (perhaps it replaces the clock-ticking baby thing that occurs to women around my age) I have no pets either.....

So part of the problem for me has been money and before you say \"well join the club\"  let me set myself apart with the following distinction (and I'm about to be extraordinarily honest in a bare-your-soul-kind of way) - it's not just having or not having money that has been a problem for me, but it's ALL the things that money represents.  While I could go into quite a lengthy dissertation about how money affects the very core of my being, my self-esteem, ego, etc....I won't - if you're truly that interested send me an email and I will gladly expound upon the subject.....

So yeah, making money, enough to pay bills as well as save,  - very, very difficult....I was living with my mother to save money - wound up not saving a cent!  Now I've got my own apartment with rather swank furniture if I do say so myself - still not saving but here's the plan:

I have, from the company where I am currently employed, a number of shares of restricted stock that become fully vested in  - you guessed it - March 2009, I have a 2005 Honda Civic which I will sell at the same time that I sell the newly vested stock (yet again March 2009) and I'm actively pursuing a second job to begin saving.

Why, might you ask is any of this such a big deal?  Well, I've been, like a said a member of this board for quite some time; I'm also one of the moderators; I've also started a petition to send to the Senate on Foreign Relations Committee (which incidentally you can sign said petition by clicking here ) but I was starting to feel with the North American Cultural Language Exchange Program (hope that's the right name) and also with the passage of time, I've well, begun to feel a bit obsolete, that I don't have much to offer any newbies in the way of advice or experience or whatever.....

So that brings me to the \"why\" of my post.  I finally made the decision to stick it out at my job (which is difficult because I hate my job and have a rather strong disdain for the company as well as my direct supervisors) for as long as the company exists (there's a chance of either it being sold or it being merged in the not too distant future).  

It's a difficult decision to make; to decide to suck it up and take it as it comes, means a whole lot of surrendering on a daily, if not hourly basis, Monday through Friday, 8:30 to 5:30.   Difficult to put up with a lot of BS when you know that you are better than and more deserving of better treatment - but I did mention the restricted stock yeah?

So I needed to say this.  I needed to say it for myself as much as for anyone else out there who might be in a simular predicament.  Let me be clear on this matter of moving to Spain - it is not my intention to move for a year or two and then return to the states to live out the rest of my days....oooooh Hell No!    

It is my intention, my expressed desire, to live out my days in a foreign country - as I feel that living in a foreign country is inherently more interesting then living here in SoFla.  This will be a permanent move.  I want out of Corporate America!  And for the youngins out there who are still at university, in college or whatever - who have not fully experienced the monotony and tedium and utter contempt of working within Corporate America - well it's all there waiting for you .

I dare say that unless you are a top level executive in Corporate America - you're not getting a slice of that big pie either.  :huh:

So I'm done.  I've finally jumped off the fense.  I'm committed; March 2009 is my exit date[/size].  For those of you who don't know me - prior to this I had said I would go when I reached a certain amount of money in savings - for me I've realised that this is the wrong way to approach my goal.  I need to have a set date as well as a dollar amount (savings-wise that is) because I am a very goal oriented person and I need finite goals with definitive bench marks and a resolute end result.

Right then, I will continue to promote the petition, which last time I looked, we were at 278 signatures and maybe by the time I'm ready to leave there will be enough signatures to have an impact when the petition is delivered to the Senate....time will tell.

Incidentally, anyone wanting to help with the petition, feel free - promotion, promotion, promotion.....the more people we tell, the more signatures we get the Bigger the impact.....tell everyone and their mother, brother, sister, cousin, then tell them again!  Tell your teachers, your employers, your coworkers, your neighbors, anyone who you think will listen and/or sign and anyone with an internet connection....get the word out!

Thank you all for listening...I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming!  


Salud!

Michelle Save the :siesta:

[Shiloh]

Do you think that maybe you are trying to control this too much? It sounds like you detest your life in Florida and that you wouldn´t miss out on much if you went to Madrid or somewhere and gave it a shot.

     Also, I think some people have a distorted idea of what living abroad is like. Quite frankly it is a whole other world to live here than it is to be here for 3 or 6 months. Often when people ask me what it´s like to live here I am forced to face the reality of having to reply \"the same as in the U.S. except in another language\" which nowadays isn´t necessarily true from what I saw on my last trip to the U.S.  I go to Starbucks for my coffee because spanish bars aren´t what they used to be, I buy my groceries in a megasupermarket because the neighborhood stores are gone and now franchises which have the same week old vegetables but more expensive polute the streets, I go see movies in English (the jokes in Spanish and Catalan 90% of the time aren´t as funny), we as well here are faced with an inept government who can´t do anything right....you know who you are Magdalena Alvarez and Joan Clos you pieces of crap....and of course the head idiot in charge Thuper Thapatero who may be able to do something right if he were to do something.  

     But then again, maybe I´m wrong and living on a teacher´s salary makes it more exciting coming up with exciting new ways to make ends meet, having students call at the last minute to cancel classes, wondering if the shady school you work for is going to pay you at the end of the month or even be in existence...(not to stereotype, but that is what I have heard from people).

This post isn´t meant to depress anyone or deter them from whatever they want to do in life. It is just an informative text about what you can expect in the cities of the Iberian peninsula where quite frankly there is very little left of Iberia.

If anyone knows somebody who wants to sell a little shack with an acre of land in Tuscany, please let me know.

[mlwalton]

Trying to control what exactly?  My future?  How I live out my days?  Shiloh, tell me, would you rather be in my position, working for a company that has absolutely nothing to do with anything that matters to you personally or fulfills you professionally or otherwise?

Do you mean to say that you begrudge me the time to plan and save for such a move?  That I ought to what, not do it for fear of the unknown?  For chrissakes Shiloh, I think you've forgotten that I've already lived abroad more than once, certainly you've not given any credence or consideration to the fact that I might just know at my age what I want from life?

If, Shiloh, I could have been fortunate enough to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, that also wanted to live in Europe, then that would have been fantastic.  Sadly, I'm still single and not getting any younger.  I can't be more forthcoming than that.

I'm not looking to live abroad for any temporary fix, it's a permanent move.  As I consider myself to be quite well travelled and wordly, I don't think, no I know that I don't have any illusions about life abroad.

I would think perhaps given the great extent to which I had explained myself in my original post, that perhaps you could be happy for me, even supportive.  Sadly that doesn't seem to be the case.  Your post sounds like you think I'm a doe-eyed twenty-year old idealising and romanticising life in a foreign country - which is obviously no where near the truth.

I am confident in my judgement as a grown woman to make such a decision for myself.  Thanks anyway for your \"warning\"

Cheers,
Michelle

p.s. I have been intentionally vague about my final destination as I am working on different prospects that may lead me to one city versus another depending on what works out - but that's neither here nor there, I've got a few stokes in the fire, any one of which would land me in places where I'd want to be.

[Shiloh]

I had forgotten why I quit posting here.  :angry:

     First of all, before I left I was in your position. My whole deal started by simply being tired of everything, getting home one day and telling my wife that I couldn´t take it anymore and that I was either going to Las Vegas, Seattle, or Barcelona...it was her choice.
     
Secondly, I don´t \"begrudge\" you anything. I am simply saying that if you are so miserable in your current situation maybe your own life is telling you something and you need to follow your heart and instincts instead of planning it so much. Kind of like the philosophy of sit back and enjoy the ride.
     
Thirdly, that you haven´t \"been fortunate enough to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, that also wanted to live in Europe\" doesn´t mean that it´s too late. My god you sound so defeated. You´re 35 years old not 80.

As far as my being happy and supportive. Honestly, if anyone figures out exactly what they want in life I congratulate them, which means you and every other person on this board and in the world because even if they were to fail at it, at least they tried. Most people nowadays are simply content with not trying for the fear of failure. Like I said in my previous post, it´s not to deter anyone from doing what they want to with their lives. It was an open and honest interpretation of what I find (at least Barcelona) to be in the 21st century.

Goodbye expatriate cafe, it was a fun ride but I think that \"posting\" just isn´t for me anymore. In the immortal words of George Clooney and probably some other dead guy he made a movie about \"goodnight and goodluck\".
 

[mlwalton]

Oh bother Shiloh.  You are such the martyr [_[   Incidentally, in regards to sounding defeated at 35 because I don't have a husband - well let me ask - how old are you again?  I forget, but I think you might be quite a bit younger than me and at the very least (given that you married relatively young) you're not in a position really to understand what it might be like for me.

And my life is not so miserable that I can't stand it and want to run away, I can tolerate it all enough now knowing that I have a finite plan and exit date and money to do it all properly.

The thing is Shiloh, your response to my initial post was well, in effect quite negative, like putting a damper on a really fine day.  I'm a realist and a pragmatist as well.  I wasn't purporting any lofty or idealistic ideas about my prospects.

Of course no one should think that moving abroad is an easy or simple proposition - but given yours and my past exchanges over the years - I thought you'd know me better than that.  Whatever Shiloh.  You dish it out but can't take it when it's given back to you.  

Don't stop posting on my account.  But don't think for a minute that I'm not going to respond to you when you post a response to me.

Cheers,
Michelle

[SRedw]

Michelle,

Now that you have made your decision, stick with it.  You know in your heart of hearts that you are doing what's best for you.  Work on your plan diligently and earnestly.

Besos,

Shawn

[mlwalton]

Thanks Shawn.  

I appreciate the support. :love:

Salud!

Michelle Save the :siesta:  

[SRedw]

No problem Michelle.  In life we must do what brings us joy.  I am still learning about myself and know that I don't have all of the answers.  I am enjoying the road that I am traveling and don't have any regrets in life.  

The past is a point of reference, not a place of residence

Besos,

Shawn

[observador]

MIchelle, the very best of luck. I am now, after visiting spain frequently, now in the position of making my life here. It´s not that it´s a fantastic country, (no rose tinted specs for me), but it´s better than anywhere else. I am not broke, but not rich either, so I will have to work. I don´t care at what, so long as I can stay here and lead this way of life, keep all my wonderful Spanish (and expat) friends and look with hope at a future that will reserect out of the ashes of my past.
I wish you well, but do also agree with those who say don´t plan too much. Spain is a country full of surprises and you should go with the flow. From lost to the river, as they say here.

[SRedw]

Observador.

Great response.  I remember when I was here from 2003-2006 that it was some nights that all I had to eat was tomate frito and whole wheat bread, but you know what?, I was thankful for that ad that I was in Spain to make the most of my life.  I just refuse to be a victim of other people's opinions and I will live my life the way that I see it.

So, continue with your plans Michelle, but also, don't be surprised to see how life can open up doors that you never thought were there.

Suerte,

Shawn

[Jonniboy]

I sympathise with your position Michelle especially regarding the money aspect. I've had a similar soul-searching indecisive phase which only ended last week.

I'd planned to return to Spain both last year and this year. I'm currently based in Riga, Latvia. Cold in wintertime and I find the locals a bit stiff and standoffish compared to the Spanish. In contrast the idea of Sunshine, sangria and Spanish cuisine had a big appeal.

Sadly on both occasions the plan has been postponed in favour of another year teaching in Latvia. The main reason is probably my girlfriend. Although she really wanted to go, her Spanish is poor. I believe she would struggle to find a job there, at least in the early months (she doesn't wish to do bar work or anything similar). So supporting two people on a teacher's salary would not be fun.

Despite that I'd decided to throw caution to the wind and move there, with her following later and had the flight already bought. But then last week I got a really decent offer to continue to work in Latvia. About 1500 euro a month net - exceeding my most optimistic wage expectations for Barsa and of course Latvia is cheaper so I'll be able to live well on that. In contrast the idea of scraping by financially in Barsa, sharing a flat again with strangers and the hassle of uprooting again was a bit offputting. Another factor is that in Valencia I had mostly kids classes, which I hated, whereas my students in Riga are all aged 15+.

There's an annoying clash behind it all. TEFL is tailor made for those of us (like me) who like travelling round different places and experiencing life in different countries. But if you want to make better money in it, that only comes with staying put for a few years. Just my thoughts!

[SRedw]

Jonniboy,

You story is a very interesting one and thanks for sharing with us.  I can tell a little bit more about my decision.  I am probably the OLDEST of the English Language Assistants at 36 years old. I decided to return to Spain to be in a place where I am happy and right now my happiness is more important than any amount of money in the world.  Money comes and goes, but I only get one shot in this lifetime for happiness.

I am a big believer of following the heart and choosing happiness in life over regrets.

There is no future
There is no past
I love this moment
As my last
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today

Another Day - Rent

Shawn

[mlwalton]

Well, I want to thank everyone for their support  :love:  :love:  :love: it's much appreciated!

Cheers to All!

Salud!
Michelle Save the  :siesta:

[SRedw]

Michelle,

I am all for one seeing people realize their dreams.  Dreams are very important in life.  I read somewhere \"Never laugh at a person's dreams.  A person without dreams doesn't have much.\"

Shawn

[Jonniboy]

Hi Shawn,

I agree with but it’s not just a case of money vs place to live, my situation is more complicated. If money was my only motivating factor then I probably wouldn’t be in TEFL to begin with. But cash is a consideration among other things. I also have a partner to think of. So it was a case of weighing up different things for the coming year.

For one living arrangements – staying in our own spacious flat in the best area of the city centre will sure as hell beat a cramped room in a flat shared with strangers. Second, the place where I’ll continue to work is a well organised language centre and I’ll have the opportunity to move into teaching I.T. there which will certainly be useful in the future. The company is based in different countries so I’m staying there with that in mind and one eye on a future transfer.

Most of all, for the Barsa plan, I’d have needed to be apart from my girlfriend for at least three months whereas this way we can be together and she can spend the next 12 months improving her Spanish, which will allow her to settle in a lot better. To be honest if she wasn’t part of the equation then I’d almost certainly be off to Spain this Autumn. All the best,

Johnny
 

[SRedw]

I agree with but it’s not just a case of money vs place to live, my situation is more complicated. If money was my only motivating factor then I probably wouldn’t be in TEFL to begin with. But cash is a consideration among other things. I also have a partner to think of. So it was a case of weighing up different things for the coming year.

Johhny,

Trust me, I know that every situation is different and I am actually glad that I am single right now.  It is, for me, nice to make a decision thinking only of myself.  When I get a boyfriend, well, that's a different story.  :wub:

It seems that you have made a decision that's best for both you and your girlfriend.  You are with a well recognized company and can move into a different field of teaching and that sounds promising for the future.

Everyday that we live is a learning process and I am glad to be on the road to self-discovery.  I cherish each day that I have and want to make the best of it knowing that I have given it my best, even if things don't turn out the way that I want them to.

Cheers,

Shawn

[mlwalton]

Hi Johnny,

I'd say that you made a responsible and well thought out decision.  Well done.  

May we both acheive our desired end results!

Salud!
Michelle Save the :siesta:  

[SRedw]

Well, once again, we all have to do in life what's best for us, and not worry about what other people think about our decisions.

Shawn

[mlwalton]

Absolutely!  No one know's what is best for me, better than me.  (I was always trying to communicate that to my parents when I was a child )

Cheers,
Michelle  

[Jonniboy]

Shawn/Michelle,

Thanks folks! I'm sure there will be times in the coming year when have pangs of regret (especially in the middle of winter when the temperatures drop to -15  :unsure: )  but a year from now I'll be in a much better position. I hope you both achieve your goals in the next year. Best of luck,

Johnny

[SRedw]

Johnny,

As I have said before, I am all for seeing people achieve their dreams.  I look at it this way.  Spain is not going anywhere and you and your girlfriend have plenty of time to make the jump over and be in a better financial situation than before.  That's why I am back here.  I'm saving money by sharing and I have quite a few academies excited about my being back and have already said that they would have work for me in September.  

I have really learned to take life in stride and every single day I am striving to make changes and learning all that I can from my past experiences in order not to repeat what was not good for me.  Life truly is beautiful and is a learning process and I have my notebook out and am ready to take notes.  I am the student who sits in the front of the class andhangs on to every word that life, the teacher, has to offer.

Good luck and please let us know how things are going.

Abrazos,

Shawn

[mlwalton]

No sweat Johnny!

God I remember -16 in Prague Brrrrrr!  just remember, layers, lots and lots of layers!

Salud!
Michelle

[SRedw]

Michelle,

I am quite sure that you thought about this and I have to ask, but will you have either a BA or BS by 2009?  If so, you could apply for the North American Language and Culture Assistant Program.  I am quite sure that it will still be up and running then.  Just a thought.

Suerte,

Shawn

[mlwalton]

Actually Shawn, I'll have neither.  My staying until March 2009 has to do with my restricted stock becoming fully vested (i.e. finally mine to sell).  I'm not in school.

 

[SRedw]

Cool, Michelle.  It was just a thought and only you know what's right for you and follow your heart.  :wub:

Besos,

Shawn  

[Expat_teacher]

Hiya Michelle!

I just wanted to give you a note of encouragement! How's the savings coming along? If I am not mistaken, nearly 3 months have passed since you made your decision. Maybe we need to hold you to your plans here to help you meet your future dreams! 

Like a couple of other posters, though, I would like to disourage you from planning things too much (but that 2009 vested stock option is COMPLETELY understandable!!).

Go for it! 

Johnnyboy... did I read your posts correctly in that your intent/interest is to move to Barcelona? If so, perhaps your girlfriend's time might be better spent learning Catalán. Just my guess. I don't live there so don't know. But all that I have ever heard has pointed to that. Something to think about!

[mlwalton]

Hi Expat_teacher!

Well I must admit a bit chagrinned that saving money in the last three months has not actually occurred      ...but I just submitted my app for a second job at Starbuck's (I worked for Starbuck's in both Atlant, GA and Los Angeles, CA) so hopefully I can get that hooked up and start working soon.  That's money that I won't touch!

Saving money is a hard thing to do, eh?  It takes more than just effort, doesn't it?

Anyhoo, that's about the size of it.  Honestly though, I'm banking on the sale of my stock along with the sale of my car to be the bulk of my operating capital.

Although, now that I've finally taken the plunge to get my puppy, I know that my moving to Europe is going to be a much bigger coordinated effort.  But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it....or least when I get a bit closer.

Check in with me in say six months....hopefully I'll have a small chunk of change in the bank

Salud!
Michelle ( where's my beer?)

[Jonniboy]

Johnnyboy... did I read your posts correctly in that your intent/interest is to move to Barcelona? If so, perhaps your girlfriend's time might be better spent learning Catalán. Just my guess. I don't live there so don't know. But all that I have ever heard has pointed to that. Something to think about!

Thanks expat teacher. I did think of that. Catalan is certainly very important in Barsa but I still believe that for a newbie they're better learning Spanish first and then Catalan later. Also from a practical point of view, she's Latvian and here Catalan materials are  impossible to find - not much of a market for Latvian-Catalan dictionaries Well no regrets so far about my decision and late August is only nine months away.

Michelle hope it's going well for you?

[BrandinhoGaucho]

First of all, before I left I was in your position. My whole deal started by simply being tired of everything, getting home one day and telling my wife that I couldn´t take it anymore and that I was either going to Las Vegas, Seattle, or Barcelona...it was her choice.

I guess it's all relative. I'm from Seattle and since coming back from Spain in 2006, I've wanted nothing more than to return. Seattle is beautiful, as is Washington State...both of which I learned to appreciate more from afar. Same thing happened with Vigo. I had a lot more "cariño" for Spain once I left it, which is not to say I ever wished to leave.

I agree wholeheartedly with your passion to go back for a number of reasons. Your Florida is my Washington, and there isn't much worse than realizing that the clock is ticking and you aren't stimulated. Maybe Spain doesn't work out and maybe it does, but at least you'll know the answer. I would much rather see my illusions of grandeur come crashing down to reality than be haunted by them as I watch the years go by.

I'm curious to see if you ended up going since this thread has been dead for quite a while.

 

[Cadiz chica]

Hi - was browsing again in search of something unrelated to the current hot topic of the North American Cultural and Language programme, tho´I do appreciate why that´s so fascinating right now!  So, what´s happened to Michele´s dream to move here to Spain after March this year and did Jonniboy get back to Barcelona?  it´d be great to know how things have turned out, especially considering the current economic woes!!  Un abrazo grande a todos!!

BTW - i´M LOTS OLDER THAN ANY OF YOU WHO´VE POSTED ON THIS THREAD, but I´m still getting students wanting private English classes with me,  and have so far had five job offers in academies here in Andalucia for October!!  I´m also the oldest person at the intercambio´´, by a mile, but who cares?  I love chatting in my basic Spanish to everyone there - we never know exactly who might breeze in!  At last, I´m living my extremely ancient dream to teach English in Spain, after many, many deflections along the way - just goes to show much better very late than never!!   

Paz,
Cadiz chica

[Jonniboy]

and did Jonniboy get back to Barcelona?  it´d be great to know how things have turned out, especially considering the current economic woes!!  Un abrazo grande a todos!!

Nope fortunately or unfortunately. Unfortunately because I still want to go back, fortunately because if we'd moved last Autumn when planned we'd have walked into the middle of the biggest Spanish economic crisis in decades. Basically I got a 50% pay rise here in Riga last Autumn (though they later cut that back by 10%) and decided to stay put until the economic situation improved. Things are pretty bad here too but at least I'm known, have contacts and a mini Empire of privates. I'm still waiting but Autumn 2010 has been earmarked for the move - my girlfriend is more committed to it than me as she's never lived in Spain and we have the money to buy a flat so fingers crossed things will have picked up by then!

[SRedw]

Cadiz Chica,

Great post and I wonder as well what happened with both of them.  Don't say that you are the oldest because thre are of us are in the 38 - 40 range.  I am the oldest English Language Assistant at my school and I found out the program is telling people that they are too old for the program, but when they really need people, then they take people over 30.  Such a shame, but its their loss.

Cheers,

Shawn

[SRedw]

Jonniboy,

Thanks for the update.  i'm glad to know that you are saving and ebing cautious.  The crisis is hitting everywhere and that's why I'm glad that i am staying in Madrid.  Just signed my contract for another two years and got a major pay increase.  Will also continue working at the two universities and giving privates.

2010 sounds like a plan to me.

Cheers,

Shawn

[RebeccaG]

Some of us are in the over 40 category as well and doing just fine in the teaching sector!